Decisions

“Life is a chess match. Every decision that you make has a consequence to it.” P.K. Subbon

Throughout life, we make so many decisions. All of these decisions lead us in a specific direction and ultimately where we end up in life. It can be overwhelming to know that every choice we make could lead us to something great or could destroy our life. Maybe this thought alone has led me to dark moments in my life. You want to make the best decisions you can so when it’s your time to die you can look back and be satisfied with your life. I’m in a spot now that I believe I am in a good spot and I’m heading in the right direction. I think back to bigger decisions and how I got to this point in my life. 

I chose to attend Baldwin-Wallace College to play basketball because my high school coach had a connection. I met friends and would move to Columbus to live with one of them after graduation. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life and I felt like I was lost. I had given up basketball for about two years. One day at a job I hated I met someone who invited me to play some pickup basketball games with their team. The games took place at Otterbein University. Otterbein was a team that I played against when I played in college. While playing basketball that day I started talking to the head coach at Otterbein. She invited me to volunteer with the team and help coach. I figured I might as well give it a shot. 

That decision led to two years of volunteering and an additional two years, I took master’s classes and was a graduate assistant for the women’s basketball team. After four years of experience, I got my first head coaching job in Taft, California. I was a head coach and a faculty member for four years there before a quick stop in Oklahoma as an academic advisor and now the athletic director at the University of Maine at Fort Kent. I often wonder if I had chosen to play basketball at another university what I would be doing. They often say connections and your network are so important for finding a job. Those connections are why I am where I am now. 

The struggle in all of this is how do we not overwhelm ourselves by analyzing every decision. If we overthink every move, we make we won’t make progress. What decision am I making right now that will have a big impact on my life in 5, 10, 20 years? There is no way of knowing until after it all plays out. I guess we need to trust ourselves and that we are making the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time. We need to be ok with the results. 

My biggest challenge in life has always been not having a path. I’ve never known what I wanted out of life. I still don’t know what job or career I want to have for the rest of my life. I often wonder if this is normal or do others feel like this too. I have a great job and many people would love to be an athletic director at a university. Don’t get me wrong I love my job, but I still question if this is the path I should be on. Did I make the right decisions all those years ago or should I have a completely different job and life? 

I continually have these questions and thoughts but what I have learned and what I have settled on is that there isn’t a wrong path if, at the end of the day, you can find joy and satisfaction in what you’re doing. Life is a journey, and you can make a change at any moment. If I wake up tomorrow and feel like I want to head down a different path I can make decisions that will take me to new places and new experiences. This thought gives me comfort and makes thinking back on the decisions I made a lot more fun. Even bad decisions and hard times have made me who I am. The experiences I have had prepared me for my current role and have allowed me to help student-athletes and coaches. 

When you are faced with a decision think about what is best for you at the time with the information you have. Be confident that no matter what you can always make another decision to improve your situation should your first choice not be what you want. I’ve made a lot of bad decisions and I am proud of how I have recovered and done things to pull myself out of holes. Life is fun and sometimes you just need to be ok with your decisions regardless of the outcomes. 

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” – Nelson Mandela